The Fire Within
by redheadturtlequeen
Summary: Alice has changed. She has lost her muchness and she feels that its for good this time. but when desperate times call for desperate measures, will her friends be able to break through the walls she has put up or will she continue on being a non believer?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't think that Lewis Carroll or Tim Burton would put their username as redheadturtlequeen, therefore, I am not them and do not own either of those fabulous plotlines or characters.

AN: this little plot bunny just kind of came and slapped me in the face the other day, so I thought that I would give it a shot.

Chapter 1: Back to London.

She had never understood life. She had her theories, but never a certain idea of how everything worked and came to be. It disconcerted her. The uncertainty of it and the fact that she had no way of knowing for sure. Normally she would easily think up a solution and explanation that she would readily believe, no matter how ludicrous, but that was not the case anymore.

She had given up dreaming not long ago. After she had woken up from that dream about a magical place called wonderland, she had spent the next three months having continuous dreams/nightmares about the place. And every time she had woken from them, she had been wanting, _aching _to go back to the wondrous place. And it completely tore her up that she couldn't visit the place and stay there with all of her wonderful friends. Because it wasn't _real_. Even though it had felt constantly like reality, she had to always remind herself that it wasn't. After a while, she had gotten tired of all of the grief that these dreams were causing her, so she gave up. She had stopped allowing herself to imagine, so she would be able to avoid the pain that she had been caused by these lies that she had so desperately wanted to believe in. At first it was hard, but after a while, she had actually stopped doubting that they were just that; lies.

While Alice stood on the deck of the boat that he and all the crew had called home for the past thirteen months, Lord Ascot stood silently observing the girl from the windows of his quarters. Over the time they spent on this boat, he, and all the crew for that matter, had noticed the very prominent change in Alice. It almost seemed as though she had been replaced by an Alice-like robot. She no longer had that childish innocence about her. No longer skipped around as though she had not a care in the world, nor spent large periods of time entertaining herself by just daydreaming with that no longer familiar far off, contented look on her face. He was quite worried about her. After spending large amounts of time with the brilliant girl, he had come to care for her as the daughter he never had. He could only hope that being home for a while would bring her old self back.

They had decided to return to England for 2 weeks to do some catching up with their respective families. Lord Ascot had gotten recently gotten a letter from his wife saying that their son Hamish was engaged to be married to Fiona Chattaway, and Alice and he were both invited to the wedding. Also, Margaret had just given birth to a son, so Alice was desperate to meet her little nephew.

Their navigator announced that they would be arriving at the port in Queenborough shortly. Alice had to admit, she felt slightly frightened at the prospect of returning home after all this time. She had no idea how her family felt about her decisions. They had tried to persuade her not to go before she left for china, and instead to meet with a nice suitor that they had in mind, but her opinion would not sway. Though they seemed supportive when they had gone to see her off, she was worried whether they would try to set her up again as soon as she returned.

Her worries were cut short as when realised that they were docking at the port already. As she glanced over the railing, she could see her entire family (except for Margaret, Lowell, and their new baby of course) straining their necks to try and see her. _Well, here goes nothing, _she thought to herself as she put on a happy face and started to descend the ramp that one of the crew members had laid out for them.

After being home for a while, she started to realise that maybe she had had nothing to worry about in seeing her mother again. All she did was ask her the usual questions; how are you faring, are they treating you well, what was it like in China, ect. No mentions of potential suitors, or doubts of her decisions. Every thing was going rather perfect.

"Alice, there is someone I would like you to meet."

Or maybe not.

"Mother, please-"

"No, Alice, this has gone on long enough! You have gotten what you wanted; have seen the 'real world' as you so call it, and now it is time for you to settle down with a nice man."

"Mom, just because I am nineteen now, does not mean that I am in any way ready to settle down!"

"Just meet with him, please that is all I ask," her mother replied, looking slightly worn out from her protests.

"Fine, I will meet with him, but I can't promise anything," she hastily added the last bit as she saw her mothers triumphant expression.

"So, when is he coming?" which was asked more out of wanting to seem polite then actual curiosity.

"Well, he'll actually be joining us for dinner tonight, along with your sister, Lowell and the baby."

"And what is this mystery man like, if I may ask?"

As her mother launched into a long ramble, Alice slowly tuned her out, gathering very little from the description. Apparently his name was James Calloway, he came from a long line of very rich bankers, and sounded dreadfully boring. Honestly, did her mother learn nothing from Hamish?

Just as she thought that she was free to leave after her mothers speech was done, she hastily added "and Alice, please be on your best behaviour, after all, these people do control our family funds!"

It was going to be a long night.

AN: I know that it's not that long, but it's more of a prologue type first chapter. The others will be longer though! Thanks for reading and R&R!

Chapter 2


	2. Just a Trick of the Light

Disclaimer: I have not the imagination of Lewis Carroll, nor the money and creativeness of Tim Burton, therefore I am sadly neither.

AN: just in case you guys didn't realise yet, anything that is in italics, is Alice's thoughts and POV. And, if Alice seems a bit AU, it's because she has given up on the whole impossible possibilities thing and has grown up a bit. Don't worry; she'll get her muchness back in later chapters.

Chapter 2: Just a trick of the light.

As Alice was getting ready for dinner that night, she started thinking about that topic that she didn't dare talk about for the past few weeks. Wonderland. She thought to herself _I wonder whether anything would be different about it now since it has been so long since I've been there. I wonder if that hole in Lord Ascot's garden was still there… No! What was I saying? These are all just dreams, remember? _And she didn't dare ponder the topic the topic any longer lest she start dreaming about it again.

She had decided on a pale yellow dress that wasn't to frilly or gaudy, but enough so that her mother wouldn't send her back upstairs to dress in something more occasion appropriate. Just as she had finished giving herself a once-over and was about to turn away from the mirror, she caught a glimpse of something that made her heart stop.

There, reflected in the mirrors depths, was a grinning cat.

A Cheshire cat, to be exact.

After gathering her wits, Alice spun around quickly to see the cat, but it was gone. After sufficiently checking every corner of her room for a cat, she seemed to come back down to earth, and realise one important fact that in that frightening moment, she had forgotten;

Cats don't grin.

Therefore, this cat didn't exist.

_But the ones in Wonderla - no! Don't think like that Alice _she told herself. _That place does not exist and you know it! _She quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind and returned to her previous state of non-belief and denial.

She breathed a shaky sigh of relief, after realising that she was being ridiculous for even worrying about that. It must have just been a trick of the light or something like that.

"Alice, come down here and get ready to greet our guests; they will be arriving soon!" her mother shouted, bringing her back down to earth.

_Once again, here goes nothing _she thought to herself as she put on a bright face and went to stand with her mother, wishing that she was anywhere but there at that moment.

********************************Alice's POV*******************************

Okay, I have to admit, I was really wrong about this guy. James had turned out to be actually really interesting. I mean, I still have no interest in him in any way other than friendship, but still, he's not that bad. He likes a few of the things that I like, and we had a rather intelligent conversation about a book that we have both read.

And, of course, mother looks overjoyed that were getting along. I do wish that she wouldn't get her hopes up. I tried to send her a look that said exactly that, but she pointedly ignored it.

After we finished the rather stuffing meal, James took me aside saying that he wanted 'a word' with me. Psh, yeah right. I know what's coming next.

"Alice, I was wondering if you wanted to come for a walk with me tomorrow through town at around one o'clock?"

I told you so.

But I can't really say no, can I? But I may as well go. That way, I can let him know tomorrow that I'm not looking to be married any time in the near future.

"Sure, James that would be lovely," I said. I almost felt guilty, when I saw the relieved and happy expression on his face, but I'll make sure to let him know as soon as possible how really I feel.

*************************9 days later. Still Alice POV*************************

Okay, so what I said before was kind of a lie. You know the whole, 'I'll tell him tomorrow' thing? But in my defence, he is a really nice guy, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. But I also don't want to lead him on, so as you can see, I am at a sort of crossroads currently.

The 'date' that he asked me on for the next day turned out rather well, though. He was punctual as can be, and arrived at exactly one o'clock. Then we went out and the conversation stayed pleasant throughout the outing. I actually had a rather lovely time. But of coarse, as soon as I was about to tell him that I wasn't interested, he went and did something sweet and completely messed up my whole rehearsed speech.

What did he do, you may ask? He bent down and handed me a beautiful lily, which is coincidentally my favourite type of flower.

Then, after he dropped me off at home again, he asked me out on another outing, to go see an opera with him.

And it was perfect also. The seats were perfect, his clothes were perfect, his manners were perfect, and the night in all was perfect.

James was a great guy, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. **He was **_**perfect!**_

But he was too perfect.

It annoyed me to no end that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. It also annoyed me that I had this amazing guy who liked me a lot, and was willing to do anything for me, and there was no way that I could just make the feeling mutual.

But that's not who I am, and that's not what I like.

First of all, I am not even ready for commitment yet. And also, my… type of guy, I guess you could say, was way different from James' type. I preferred someone who not just liked what I liked, and read what I read, but also had a difference of opinion on at least _some_ topics.

James agreed with me on everything. He made it seem like he thought that I would completely explode on him if he just disagreed with me.

Secondly, I wanted a guy who thought that I could hold my own, and didn't treat me as though I was made of glass.

James treated me as though I would shatter any second.

Thirdly, he needs to accept that I do not want to become just a dutiful housewife if I ever get married and that I want to actually help to provide for us.

Which of course, was exactly the opposite type of wife that James was looking for.

And lastly, he had to have at least _some_ faults. I mean, it wasn't human to not! Everyone has faults, and should embrace them.

But of course, James had none.

Anyway, back to the topic of conversation before I started to rant. After the opera, he asked me to grace him with my presence (his words, not mine) once again on Sunday (tomorrow), but I told him that I was busy that day, and any other day next week would suffice. Not the truth, but not exactly a lie. I had been planning to visit Margaret and Ian (her son's name, which I discovered from mother) that day, but I hadn't arranged it yet, and hadn't put much thought into it after deciding. So I hastily arranged the meeting as soon as I was able to.

***********************Same time, but my (authors) POV***********************

Something that Alice had tried to push to the back of her mind that week were the rather odd occurrences that kept happening. In situations similar to the grinning cat in the mirror incident, she kept seeing different in rather random instances.

For example, while on one of her outings with James, she had spotted a bright blue, rather familiar butterfly. It had startled her, which in turn gained James' unwanted concerns. But of course, she quickly dismissed the situation as a perfectly normal one. After all, bright blue butterflies were perfectly common in this area of England.

Another odd circumstance was when she was strolling through the garden, lost in her thoughts, when she spotted a rabbit in a waistcoat out of the corner of her eye.

These continued a number of times over the week, and all were dismissed as either just a trick of the light or a perfectly natural occurrence.

As Alice sat there reviewing the weeks events, she slowly started to drift off, until she fell asleep in a rather uncomfortable position. As the night meandered on, she stayed in a peaceful slumber, until she awoke with a start at around 4 in the morning

After the initial bleariness that comes with sleep wore off, she hastily lit a candle and searched the room for whatever disturbed her slumber. Though she didn't have to look for long.

And what she saw when she looked over was something, or rather _someone's_ that gave her the shock of her life.

There, perched on the end of her bed was a group of rather odd, yet familiar animals.

A dormouse with armour and a sword, a rabbit in a waist coat, and a Cheshire cat to be exact.

And what startled Alice out of her stunned reverie, was a tiny, but powerful voice coming from the dormouse saying just three simple words that brought reality crashing down on her.

"'Allo again Alice!"

AN well, in the words of porky pig 'that's all for now folks!' you know what to do, R&R.

P.S, sorry for the lame first date idea for Alice and James, but I'm just taking what I know from Jane Austen books for what people did on dates around this time era.


	3. A Crossroad of Sorts

Disclaimer: I am neither rich nor dead, so I am neither Tim Burton nor Lewis Carroll, and therefore don't own anything.

Chapter 3: A crossroad of sorts

(This parts written in Alice's POV, just so you know)

I couldn't believe my eyes. All these months that I had gone thinking that that whole series of events never happened, yet here was proof that it all had.

Oh, believe me, I had considered that this was a dream, but there was no proof that it was. I had already pinched, prodded and smacked myself, yet I showed no signs of waking up. And it just felt all too real for this to be a dream. Because usually dreams are fuzzy, and you can't control your thoughts, but I was the feeling the opposite of all of those signs currently.

I suddenly snapped out of my trance like state when I realised that the three creatures were talking about something.

"… don't know what's wrong with her. Mally, do something!"

I then felt a sharp pain in my foot and realised that they were in fact talking about me.

"Alice, can you hear me?"

Of coarse I could hear him; I just didn't know what to say. I then heard the lazy drawling voice of Chessur reply: "it's no use McTwisp, she must have forgotten. _Again._"

After hearing that comment, I finally found my voice.

"Of course I haven't forgotten you all, you just startled me."

They all looked quite relieved after hearing me say this. It was then that I noticed just how weary and worn they all looked. Almost as if they had been through some sort of war or something. I then heard McTwisp, ever the worry-wart, stutter a delighted reply.

"Alice, oh th-thank heavens! We were all so worried th-that you w-w-wouldn't remember us. After all, it took you a while to recollect everything last time we s-saw you. But everything was so much nicer then, and oh how I miss-"

Mallymkun cut him off with a sharp elbow to the side, and immediately he looked guilty, or as though he had said something that was better kept a secret.

"What's going on, why are you all here? Not that I mind, but it's a rather late hour here."

They all looked at each other, and I immediately knew that something was wrong, and when I asked what was, all three adopted an awkward look that made me think the worst.

"No one has… died, have they?"

Thank god that Chessur immediately reassured me because one second more of silence would have surely made me lose my head (in a bad way, of course).

"Oh no, everyone is still perfectly healthy and mad, though I'm starting to think that they're all more far gone than usual."

"What does that mean? Why are you all beating around the bush about this? I don't understand what's wrong, if everyone's fine." They were all really frustrating me with their vague-ness, so I turned my most likely angry gaze to McTwisp because I knew that he would immediately melt under the pressure. And sure enough, I was right.

"W-well, that's the thing, it's not health related problem, more of a… mental sort of problem. In the sense that everyone is being so."

I still didn't understand what was wrong, since everyone was already mental, and said just so. Seeing that I wasn't going to rest until I got answers, Mallymkun decided to explain.

"Well, for a while after you left, everything was great (good to know that she still felt the same about me) for a while anyway. After a few months, people started getting kinda funny. The changes in them started small, zoning out a lot, lots of mood swings, stuff like that. But recently, they've been gettin' worse. Everyone who's affected seems like just a shell of who they were before. And no one recognizes each other now. It's rather strange."

Wow, it seems like every time that I leave that place, a new threat comes along and messes everything up.

"Who exactly is this happening to? And why aren't you guys affected at all?"

Chessur answered this question for me." We aren't sure why we're fine, though there are many theories. And there are only a few people who aren't acting strange. A lot of the smaller creatures are fine and a few of the larger ones too. But the white queen and her whole army are like this, the March hare too. Luckily we still have Absolum with us though."

Mally then answered the question that had been eating at me for a while.

"And the 'atter (hatter) too, don't forget 'im! He's actin' even stranger than the rest…"

I tuned her out after hearing that. This news frightened me more than I would have liked. If the hatter is acting strange then this must be really serious. He never was one to lose his muchness without a fight. Then I remembered that Mallymkun was still talking and zoned back in.

"…and we're all really worried about this, so we're here, though we'd be just fine without you since you're such a big, clumsy one, but we thought that we could use your help, not that we need it bu-"

Chessur interrupted her in the middle of her rant and got straight to the point. "What Mally is trying not to say is that we need your help."

I didn't really know what to say. I mean, how exactly was I supposed to help in a situation like this? I'm only one girl. I know that I slayed the Jabberwocky, but that was completely different. After all, this situation sounds much worse then that one was, and I don't even know how I would help anyway. But they were looking at me expectantly, so I did the first thing that came to mind, and asked a question.

"Do you know who's behind all of this?"

"Oh yes, but we dare not speak her name. It was rumoured for a while that if you said it, you would turn to stone, and since no one wanted to test the theory, her name hasn't been spoken since," McTwisp replied.

"So will you come or not?" demanded Mally.

I told them that I would have to clear up a few things here before I came, if I did, but they took that as a yes, and left me to my thoughts with triumphant smiles on their faces.

Overwhelmed with all that I had learned this night, I fell right asleep without the chance to think about what I had just basically signed up for.

*********************brief summary in my (authors) POV***********************

And, in the way that was starting to become habitual for her, when Alice woke up the next day, she was under the impression that it was all just a dream. She tried to get back into her normal personality and habits in the days following, but it was increasingly harder.

After all, the dream had felt so real for her, and she couldn't help the concern that she felt, even though it wasn't real.

But just as she was getting used to normality again, one simple, little object undid all of the mental barriers that she had hastily constructed.

The thing that undid it all was a simple, yet meaningful thing.

It was a miniscule, little sword.

More specifically, Mallymkuns sword.

This little object was what started it all, the days of confusion began, until finally Alice decided to go and put her mind to rest. After all, she only had two more days until she left again for china, and she knew that if she left without knowing whether it was all real or not, it would bug her forever.

****************************Back to Alice's POV*****************************

After putting the event off for as long as I could, I finally decided to just go and get it (and my curiosity) over with. So, I got out of bed, slipped on one of my most comfortable blue dresses, and informed my mother that I was going to go for a horseback ride. She sent me a disapproving look, but decided that it was best not to comment. And that was probably a good choice too, since nothing would deter me from my mission that day.

After riding for quite a while, I found myself nearing the Ascot's property. The reason that I had chosen to wear my most comfortable dress was because I would have to scale a rather high fence to get onto their property. After all, I couldn't just go up to their door, and ask to go see a rabbit hole in their garden; they'd probably send me straight to the loony bin.

As soon as I had arrived at the familiar hole (I remembered how to get there like the back of my hand) I begun to have doubts about my decision to go there, but tried to wave them off.

Even if I do end up there, they'd probably have some spare Jabberwocky blood left, if things don't go that well. And anyway, who's to say that anything will even happen it I do go down that hole. I'm probably worrying too much, and this rabbit hole will be just like any other; I'll hit the bottom of it, climb back out, and my curiosity will be sated.

_But what if something actually happens!_ Argued the other, more annoying side of my conscience.

Well, like I said, they probably have spare Jabberwocky blood if anything happens, which it **won't!**

_But what about what Mallymkun said, what if she wasn't kidding and there really is something bad happening there!_

Well, what help would I be anyway? I'm only one girl, and from what she said, this… whatever it is, is quite bad.

_But think about your friends! Think about the Tweedles! _

But-

_And Mirana!_

Still-

_And the Hatter!_

… Fine, I'll go! But if this is all a lie, I'm leaving ASAP!

I walked to the edge of the hole, sat down beside it, and stuck my legs in. I looked down the hole and saw nothing but dirt lined walls, and an endless black abyss.

Well, it doesn't seem that bad, and after all, what's the worst that could happen?

So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and slipped in.

But I didn't hit the bottom like I had expected.

AN: well, whadda ya think? Oh, and just as a warning to everyone, never read the story my immortal, even if you just want to see how bad it is, or if you've heard that it's funny. I decided to see just how bad it was and I think my brain melted a little. Or a lot. Oh, and updates may take a little longer since I don't really know where I'm going with some of the concepts in the story.


	4. Down the Rabbit Hole Again

Disclaimer: if I owned Alice in Wonderland, I'd probably not be writing this story right now.

AN: sorry to whoever actually reads this story, but I had trouble with this chapter, so it took me a bit longer.

Chapter 4: Down the Rabbit Hole Again.

(Alice's POV)

Free falling is an odd feeling. It feels almost freeing, yet at the same time, you feel trapped. Trapped in your own body, as though your soul is dying to escape and fly with the birds, and not be being dragged down with your body. I personally, had always wanted to fly. To be free among the clouds, have no boundaries and go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But instead I was stuck on the ground, (or in this case, in air) wishing that I could somehow grow wings and fly away.

But back to the situation at hand.

I was falling down the familiar hole once more. Many different objects of different shapes were falling around me, at different speeds though. Being not as afraid of coming to my imminent doom this time, I could actually observe the sights around me. There was a rather lovely tea set, a bookcase full of foreign looking books, the piano, which narrowly missed hitting me again and oddly enough a shaving kit. I saw the ground, or rather, the roof coming up, and braced myself for the impact which was as usual, slightly lessened since this place was magical.

After hitting the ground in the familiar room of doors, I came to a sudden realization.

I hadn't hit my head on anything, or passed out randomly, and I was feeling perfectly fine, if not a little nervous before this, which means that this place really is real. _Underland_ is real! I felt excited, yet at the same time confused. After all, I had spent the past (about) ten months believing that this place was just a figment of my imagination. It was a lot to take in at once.

This time, unlike last time, I sped through the process of shrinking and getting the key. I took the untouched ubulkuchen for later, put the dolls dress that I had brought on and made my way through the door. After making my way through to the other side, and other world. After getting back to my normal size again, and saving the remaining ubulkuchen and my dolls dress for later, I took the time to take a look around.

Nothing looked off at all, really. It's not that I don't believe that Mallymkun, McTwisp and Chessur were telling the truth, but I was imagining everything being a lot worse, though I did feel as though there was something missing. With nothing else to do, I started walking towards Marmoreal. I didn't make it very far, though when I realised what was missing.

Noise.

There was absolute silence surrounding me. There was absolutely nothing, other than the slight sound of the wind blowing through the trees. Not even the gossipy flowers were saying anything. As a matter of fact, they were all closed up. Every single one of them. It all freaked me out so much that I started running towards the closest place that I could think of, which was the mad tea party.

It took quite a while of running (which I hadn't been doing much) so by the time that I got there, I was completely out of breath, with a horrible stitch in my side. When I had finally caught my breath, I looked around to see all of the usual people gathered around the table. There was Mallymkun, McTwisp, Thackery the March hare, Chessur, the Tweedles, an-

There was no Hatter.

I made my presence known to the remaining six, as they hadn't seen me enter. They all immediately came running over to me and all started talking and greeting me at the same time. It was then that I also noticed that just how sombre they, along with their surroundings looked. It was almost as if someone had stolen all of the life and fun out of here. But I decided to concentrate on their ramblings for the moment.

"Alice you're back! We've all missed y-"

"It's the Alice! The real Ali-"

"Contrariwise, who says she is the Alice? Maybe she-"

"It's about time you got here! We're in a crisis and yo-"

"Alright, alright!" I yelled. "One animal at a time please, I can't understand all of you at once! And yes, I am the real Alice."

They were all silent now, as though debating on whether to continue, so I decided to take the initiative, and get straight to the point.

"Where's the Hatte - Tarrant?" I am trying to call him by his name rather than his profession from now on.

"Alice, I think that it's best that you don't see him," Chessur hesitantly replied.

"Where is he?" I demanded. "And I wont take no for an answer."

McTwisp wordlessly gestured for me to follow him, after seeing that I wouldn't give up on the topic.

"This may shock you," Chessur warned

I followed them into the topsy-turvy little windmill house that I had always wondered about, and tried to get a glimpse of him. And when I did, I couldn't believe what I saw.

The person who I saw before me did not look like the eccentric man who I had met before. This person had limp, lifeless hair, no hat, normal, if not plain clothes on and, what disturbed me the most, black, lifeless eyes. He was sitting on one of the armchairs, with a straight back, and was just staring blankly at the wall ahead with a distant look.

This couldn't be the hatter. This couldn't be my hatter.

After finally finding my voice, I said "Hat-Tarrant? Tarrant, can you hear me?"

I looked into his startlingly black eyes and saw something that gave me short lived hope. I saw a small spark of recognition, and his eyes faded to a slightly lighter, greyish colour. But in a second it was gone.

"It's no use, he won't respond to anyone," Mallymkun said, seeming rather disgruntled.

I suddenly lost all of my energy at those words, and flopped down onto the ground.

I feel as though… I can't even describe how terrible I feel now. What if it's my fault that he's like this? Maybe if I wouldn't have left, I could have prevented him and everyone becoming living corpses. It almost felt like a dream. I mean this was the hatter! He was the one who was able to keep his head (slightly), even while total madness was ensuing last year! He was the one who convinced me that I really _could _slay the jabberwocky, and now he's like this!

"Follow me to your room Alice," McTwisp said.

"But shouldn't we be going to Marmoreal to see the white queen?"

"You are in no state to travel, and it is getting very late. The shortest path to Marmoreal is through the Tugley woods and who knows what unknown horrors creep there at night!" he protested.

Too exhausted to argue, I let McTwisp lead me to my quarters for the night. He led me into a room that looked like it hadn't been used in years, but it was rather nicely decorated other than the dust.

As soon as he left, I flopped down onto the bed and collapsed into tears.

*****************************Later that night********************************

I couldn't sleep. Even though my eyes stung from crying so much, and begged to be rested, I just couldn't. So, seeing a pencil and some paper in the corner, I decided to write a poem.

Ever since father had introduced me to poetry when I was young, I was amazed at how you could express your feelings in such a way that conveyed everything that you felt without actually coming outright and saying it. I then found after father's death, that whenever I was upset or angry the best way to get my feelings out was to write them out in the form of a poem. So that was what I did.

We are bright before the mud

I stand florescent before near wraiths

Sadly, the inspiration will die

Yet hope is very common within the flowers

I follow the others through the mist

Sneaking, the evil creeps up

Quickly, the sadness overcomes

Turning away,

No words left

Down what streets

The lost child

Wanders aimlessly

In the late light

Not my best work, but it did make me feel a lot better, and now that I don't have those pesky emotions clouding my mind, I can sleep.

*****************************Morning, authors POV*************************

I woke up to loud clanging and banging coming from the kitchen, which I assumed was the march hare trying to prepare breakfast.

I felt almost refreshed, even though I had barely gotten any sleep. I was determined to make progress on finding a cure for the hatter today.

I found a dress in the closet in the corner of the room filled with men's clothes that would have to do. They must have been Tarrant's. There was a slightly smaller blue button up shirt and a pair of purple trousers that I decided on. They were comfortable, and very practical for the upcoming journey. I'm glad that I'm in a place where a woman wearing men's clothes isn't completely inappropriate.

Breakfast was a loud affair, with Chessur complaining, McTwisp worrying about our upcoming venture, Mally and the March hare throwing things around, and the Tweedles arguing and contradicting each other. The food was surprisingly delicious though.

As we were going to leave, I asked Tweedledee (or is it Tweedledum?) about Tarrant, who didn't appear to be coming with us. They kept interrupting each other, so Chessur replied "Tarrant still carries out the necessary actions to keep himself alive, though not with his usual gusto. Such a pity…"

And with that we set off to Marmoreal the journey seemed much longer than last time, as no one was talking which didn't distract us from our eventually aching feet.

At one point I tried to ask questions about this so called 'plague', but I was met with answers of "we'll tell you later," which frustrated me to no end.

We arrived at the castle at around mid-afternoon, and I was met with a sight that once again shocked me to the core. The once beautiful gardens that surrounded the castle were now withered and dying. The flourishing blossom trees were now withered and twisted like the rest of the trees in Underland are. The castle was still its marble white colour, but it seemed almost tainted with the sadness that surrounded it. Curiosity eventually overcame my shock, and I asked McTwisp what happened to the once gorgeous trees.

"Well, actually it's an odd story. When you were least here, the only reason that the trees here were so nice was because Mirana and her court frequently spoke to the trees to keep their spirits up. After you left, the rest of the trees in Underland started flourishing again because the red queen was gone and so was the sadness. But once this… plague came along, all the trees returned to their sad state again. And without Mirana cheering them up, they are all like this."

Curiouser and curiouser. I never suspected that trees could feel. Though it does make sense.

Back to current events, we were about to enter the castle. There were guards at the doors, though they both seemed to be in the same state as Tarrant. They ignored us completely, and let us pass by without even blinking.

I don't know if I can handle all of this. It's all rather frightening. And it reminds me on a fairy tale that father would frequently tell me and Margaret. It was called 'Sleeping Beauty' I believe. In the story everyone in the town fell asleep for a long amount of time. I felt like we were prince charming searching for the princess, as we seemed to be the only unaffected ones here.

We stepped through the double doors and saw-

AN: well, there you have it! R&R if you please J


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